Before I Was A Life

Lilith/Rei looks to the sky, pulled by the Ear...

Lilith/Rei looks to the sky, pulled by the Earth’s gravity, and cradles the Egg of Lilith which absorbed the souls of all human beings. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hovering, floating, being.
In a place of darkness, like space, but isn’t space. Blacker than black, a velvety nothingness; interspersed by thousands of bright shining pin-points like stars, but not stars, us. Silver, golden, blue, purple – all hovering, floating, being.
No bodies, no minds as such. Thought-forms undulate around and between us, our collective conscious knowing each other, knowing our very beings, our very thoughts. If thoughts we can be said to have.

Miles and miles away this being watches a sphere, a sphere so full of intriguing life. It is so far away it is but another glowing dot, but in another place. Yet this being can see it as clear as if it were all happening right here, right next to this watcher.
The sphere has so many interesting things happening! Water and air and fire and earth… creatures and more than creatures, those corporeal beings who race through a life seemingly so short yet so full of events, of emotions, of LIFE. This being watches, fascinated, seeing Joy and Love and Despair and Hope and humans being born and dying, and everything in-between. They go through so much, these corporeal beings, they live so much! Endlessly racing, hoping, loving, crying, dying. So much to feel – those emotions that fill them up and make them do things and feel things – and the sun on their faces and air in their hair and grass and rocks and earth underfoot and water streaming over them… This being is transfixed, feeling a pull, wanting to know what all those things feel like. How does the sun feel? How do tears feel? To have a baby? To laugh? To love? To swim? Pain? Misery? To die?

This being is eager. 90 years, is that all? This being projects. 90 years! This being will be back, hovering, floating, being, in no ‘time’ at all! It is nothing, this 90 years of human life. How long has this being been here, watching? Unknown, there is no ‘time’ here. Here is here, forever ‘Now’. But – To experience Human-ness, to FEEL, to understand, to know….

ARE YOU SURE THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT? It projects. The being over and above all shining star-like beings, the Us. The being who rules the rules; The Wyrd; the divinity; the One that keeps all this working, being.
Yes! Yes! I can do this!
No! No! Wait! It’s not as simple as that! Cries the collective conscious. This being knows better – of course it is! What could be more simple? The Human-beings know nothing of the Us, the Rules, the Being-here. They just live their lives in emotion and feeling and physicality – what could be more simple? This being wants to be part of that, to understand it. Only 90 years, it won’t take this being long to fulfil that life.
Edging toward the sphere, excited, pulsing, there is a pull, this being feels it… there is a body being conceived, waiting, waiting for this being…

WAIT. It projects. THE AGREEMENT.
Yes. The Agreement. The things to adhere to. The things to agree to, in the human life-form. The things this ‘I’ must learn. It’s fine.
YOU WON’T REMEMBER. YOU MUST TRY, IT WON’T BE EASY.
This being will remember. Will try to remember. How hard can it be?
The Agreement is made. The path this one’s life must take. The hardships this being agrees to partake in. the lessons of life this being must go through. The relationships and interactions.
Looking, eagerly, for the right parents. The right pair of human-beings to teach this life-form the Agreed lessons, good or ill.
Good or ill? What matters it? It’s all feeling, that’s what this being wants – to feel. Alive! To be alive!
We – this being and the Other; the Rule, the Wyrd, together we find the right Parents. Yes, Perfect! They are perfect.
IT IS DONE. GO TO LIFE. AND REMEMBER WHAT YOU CAN. YOU KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF YOU DO NOT REMEMBER?
This being projects a distracted yes, focussing only on the Life. The Parents. That which is about to be. This being knows what will happen if it forgets the Agreement, or does it wrong. This being will not come back here for a very long time. Yet this seems such a trivial thing – how could a being forget in a 90 year span? Such a short time! This being will ensure it gets as much Living as possible done, to feel and do and be everything that is possible in this span! There is no danger. There is no danger-

Flying towards the sphere now – eagerly, as quick as this ‘I’ can go – yes, already I can feel the ‘I’, not of the Us anymore, eagerly to my new home, waiting, down there, on that Earth –
Don’t go! You don’t understand! They project, as I fly past them, barely noticing their shining lights. I laugh, I scorn them. How can you not want to go? I ask Them rashly.
We know! We remember! Listen to us!
IT IS DONE. THE LIFE AGREEMENT IS MADE.
Yes, It is done! I tell Them. I will be back soon- and I will tell you how it feels!
They fall silent, defeated, those shining beings, those non-corporeal consciousness’, they let me go, I am no longer One of Them.
The body – I feel it, waiting for me – soon, soon Life will be mine, sweet life and feeling and I will know and understand and I will remember-
I will-
I-
Warm. Watery. Dark. Voices. Comfort.
Dark.
I-
I?

 

Advertisements
Next Post
Leave a comment

21 Comments

  1. your tale of planning the human life experiment/experience immediately drew me in and kept me immersed as the mystery unfolded. Beautifully written.
    In light, Linda

    Reply
  2. Remembering is where it’s at, is it not? Lovely piece, beautifully written. Warm Wishes, Tasha

    Reply
  3. Lovely piece of writing, very thought provoking.

    Reply
  4. Heidi,
    This is so intriguing. I often wonder what is spirit and what is soul. Although I am not a believer or a disbeliever is any deity, I do find myself knowing that I am a unique being, alive and spirited. I know there is a connection between all living things and non-living things – we are made up of the same stuff, sharing the very elements that make up our existence. It’s awe inspiring.

    Reply
    • Yes, you don’t need to believe in a deity to believe in the soul/spirit.
      That connection to all things – Oneness of everything in life – is Brahman. I recently found out about this, it may interest you to look it up if you haven’t come across it 🙂

      Reply
  5. Powerfully deep

    Reply
  6. amazing truly amazing. Thank you for sharing.

    Reply
    • 🙂 Thanks.

      Reply
      • It is truly beautiful I wrote one on that subject last year ! 😉

      • Ooh, is it on your blog? Can you send me the link? I’d love to read it 🙂

      • I see – the same theme, but like opposite view-points 🙂 Yours is superb, thank you for sharing the link.
        And yes, I think if my ‘this being’ had thought a a bit more about the wars and strife and grief, it wouldn’t have been so eager to be born…

      • The trouble is we/and the un- born probably have the same problem …not thinking ahead . and probably just thinking they can change things.??

      • Depends on the life-agreement, I suppose, and how much one innately remembers when born into the body…?
        I wonder what gandhi’s soul thought when he went back to that waiting place…? 😉

      • Yes I agree I think that babies remember it all but the shock and not being able to communicate makes it all go away by the time they can talk. Have you ever looked into a baby’s eyes and just known it has all the knowledge of mankind ? Gandhi , I think he may of thought . “Phew I hope I do not have to go back there for a long time” 😉

      • Oh yes, babies’ eyes… I could drown in their knowing! I think the shock from non-corporeal to physical has a lot to do with it too, imagine suddenly dealing with all those weird sensations 😉
        And I think you’re right about Ghandi. I often wonder about Bhoddhisatvas… returning to help us unenlightened ones rather than disentangling themselves from karma and rebirth…. that’s a brave thing!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

factfantasyfiction2's Blog

Smile! You’re at the best WordPress.com site ever

WordsFallFromMyEyes

"Until this ghastly tale is told, this heart within me burns" (Coleridge)

Endless Light and Love

My Spiritual Journey

All the little pieces

How I found what once was lost

Lavender Moon Girl's Blog

Everyday poems and images for everyone.

The Lazy Archaeologist

A museum worker/lurker and once-upon-a-time archaeologist talks objects, museums and heritage!

Michelle Joyce Bond

Offbeat, New Adult Paranormal Romance

JMC813

My Imagination is the DEVIL on my shoulder

alohaleya

wearing her heart on her blog

A Tranquil Mind's Blog

A journey through the thoughts of a tranquil mind

The Heartsongs Blog

Journeying back to my heart

Baydreamer

poetry and tidbits by lauren scott

Warrior Poet Wisdom

Self-empowerment through sword & quill, heart & iron will.

Orion Bright Star

" Love is the vibration of all Healing "

The Seven Minds

More Than Seven Chakras

Platinum Mind University

Eritis sicut Deum scientes bonum et malum

Sacred Soul Journey

Discovering, Connecting and Living the Sacred through power animals, tree spirits, colour and numerology

Thinking About Living

Poetry, poetic prose and curious musings

MzSusanB's Just Visiting

Life, Travel, and the Art of Accessibility

Laurali Star Diaries

Laurali Star Diaries is the Story of a Real-Life Cinderella Blogging About Indie Living and A Charmed Kind of Life

Not Just Sassy on the Inside

The Journey toward higher consciousness and finding the sassy girl

The Healing Center

319 Rantoul Street Beverly, MA

Healing with Dixie

Living from Your Heart to Awaken Your Divine Potential

joyful cacophony

Welcome to our online community of creativity, healing and self-exploration! This is a place to tell our stories with the intention to learn from one another. Please read and share your thoughts freely!

Professions for Peace

Affirmations. Declarations. Statements.

sara annon

seeking the middle path

Tarot And Healing

Heal, Rejuvenate, Discover yourself!

%d bloggers like this: