After Effects of An Inner Journey


Goddess (Photo credit: junibears)

Calm clear and self-assured
Heady within from what I endured
What happened in that trance-state?
I have returned as a blank space
My forehead throbs warm, super-aware
My eyes feel too big with an emboldened stare
These hands that write feel separate from me
I am vacant, thought-less inside this living body
These words that I write happen by themselves
No conscious thought not having to delve
Slowly yet surely to myself I return
Vaguely questioning what did I learn?
What in Goddess’ name just happened here?
A meditative journey became a weird session, confused and unclear
Dream-like fragments that broke as the Conscious arose
Unable to capture where my Spirit did go
Other times and journeys I have remembered every thing
Yet here and now there is almost a – Nothing
I am left with questions but at far remove
For still I am not quite myself, I assume
That I will return fully some-when soon.
To ask of the Goddess and Horned God a message and boon
Seems to have been a powerful complex wyrd affair-
Caution: I advise you to use the utmost care
Quiet within and quiet without
I trust that my Soul knows what this is about
And maybe, Goddess willing, will choose to eventually tell me
So I end this whole strange event with So mote it be!

This poem may need a bit of an explanation. I originally intended to write a poem titled ‘The Goddess Mind.’ But it wasn’t coming out right; I knew what I wanted to say but couldn’t seem ton put it together in the way I wanted. Feeling restless, I decided to do a meditation-slash-Trance-journey, to connect with my deities, to ask their advice on the matter. This poem is the after-effects of that journey – exactly how I felt when I ‘came back’. A very strange experience! And, this writing is what came out naturally as soon as I picked up my pen. So, from writing to Meditative Journeying to Feeling to Writing something else!

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  1. Ah, perhaps the comprehension of the goddess mind is unavailable just now and that is why it was difficult for you to focus–kind of like the myths where the appearance of the god or goddess is in some way unable to be tolerated easily? Just a thought. Warm Wishes, Heidi from Tasha

  2. How I recognize this from personal “experience”:

    “I am vacant, thought-less inside this living body”

    I kind of feel that initially there is something else told in between these lines of yours,,,It´s like you´ve been somewhere, you were told things, but you feel that both the soul and mind are kind of blank…Words are short…Although clear, the message remains vague, it is not supposed to be unraveled in any “usual way”…

    As C.G. Jung put it, you have to have a very constellated consciousness in order to meet these Eternal Shadows.

    Have you ever tried painting or playing an instrument?…

    • Julien, you have caught it exactly. That is exactly what was happening… as though there were messages that my conscious could not translate, as if my very atoms were being iven the message, but ‘I’ as ego could not reach deep enough to interpret it. This has happened to me before in Reiki sessions, but never in a journey such as this.
      No, I don’t play instruments – I’m near enough tone-deaf, and i have no skill in creating visual art, either. I used to enjoy drawing, but gave up in frustration at my child-like outcomes. This is why I write: an art-form that I feel I can reflect myself in!

      • Still…if you have a chance, grab some watercolours, and just let them merge freely. It can help you “remember” what was “said”

        It´s not about being or not a painter…It may mean something in the moment…

      • Thank you Julien. I will remember that and give it a go next time… I think you are right.
        I’ll let you know, if the opportunity arises 🙂

  3. Creativity born out of silence……

  4. I like the post and the poem, your self expression is wonderful and beautiful.Thank you for sharing. 🙂

  5. I really liked this post. Perhaps you could take us along with you next time. 😉


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