The Epiphany

This poem is a true story. This was the first powerful and truly meaningful experience that I had in my life – and this is the first time I have set it down in any form of writing. Are you ready? Then I’ll begin…

“Our Father who art in Heaven
Hallowed be thy name…”
A child’s words spoken every night
Not in faith but out of fright:
Fear for the Soul in the depth of sleep-
“I pray the Lord my Soul to keep.”

I was twelve, or perhaps thirteen
When I went through My Epiphany:
Alone in my room, restless, feeling strange
I sat cross-legged on the floor when I felt The Change-
It began in my head-I heard a new voice
“Hello child, Time to make your Choice.”

Who are you? I asked with fear,
A smile replied “your Soul knows me well my dear.
I am that for which you have long sought,
You are a Witch yet to be taught.
I am the wind; the rain; the tides;
I am the moon; the earth and all that abides.”

Yes! I whispered, my heart beating fast,
Yes I know you, I have found you at last!
You are all I have been searching for-
Everything I have dreamed of in my Soul’s core.
And you would deny me? Another voice boomed
A masculine shadow suddenly loomed.

It was He, who had been so long gone
For the first time in years I heard His baritone:
Are you not Mine, you who nightly pray?
Have I not kept all evils at bay?
God, my child-hood faith, always there-
When did I last hear You? When did I last truly care?

My heart was beating somewhere out of time
As God and Goddess battled-Mine! She is mine!
Their powers unchecked raged intensely
As the Masculine and Feminine warred within, through me
And I the centre of the Storm:
Stillness, breathless, just a simple pawn.

I waited to see which Deity would win
Waiting to feel crushed without and within
It felt like days they unendingly battled
My senses strained, shaken, rattled
When finally, finally the tirade came to an end
My head was empty and I was myself again

I had survived a powerful force, a Reckoning
My heart was beating, my breath a-gasping
Yet a whisper called, faint but firm-
Make your choice now-there can be only One!
I realised then the choice had always been mine
And I had chosen – The Triple Goddess Divine.

A release from that old non-faith rhetoric
That I had followed unquestioningly was now historic
I said my goodbye to God and part of me died
Embracing the Goddess I was reborn, a re-awakening inside.
Pagan: a label for what in my being I had always known-
I am the Maid, the Mother, the Crone.

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17 Comments

  1. beautifully moving and powerful tale Heidi!

    in love and light, Linda

    Reply
  2. Thank you for this masterpiece that contains its own truth! Loved it!

    Reply
  3. How beautifully you have related your story of the tug of war that has raged within the hearts and minds of humanity for millennia! Blessed Be that we are now entering a new age of balance between the God and the Goddess. We get to have both, Divine Mother and Divine Father lovingly enfolded into ONE. Part of our path to reclaiming this balance for Humanity has been for some of us to hold fast to the Goddess within, seemingly swinging WAY to one side, so that the WHOLE could be served. Many blessings to you Dear One, Alia

    Reply
    • Thank you 🙂
      I like the way you’ve expressed that, and completely agree. I don’t have a problem with God, we all have our belief systems and none can be quantatatively proved or disproved. I have a problem with dogmatic structure! Faith, belief, practice is a personal spiritual thing – and only we the individual hear the Divine inside us. This is why the Pagan path attracted me I think – there is no structure, nothing between you and the Goddess and Horned God but your own self!
      I coild talk on this topic for hours – Angels, animal Guides and guardians, the Elemental Guardians, Paths and meditations and trance journeys… but I think I’d to set up another blog!

      Reply
      • Dear Heidi,
        Please DO discourse on this topic for all of us who have been taken in by “the powers that were’s” demonization of Paganism. I have always taken the word “Pagan” at its root = “of the country.” It was the Earth-based religion of the ancient ones who lived close to the earth and marked time by the seasons and the stars, sun and moon. The Vatican turned that beautiful natural honoring way of the People into something vulgar and horrific. Nothing could be further from the truth. If you feel led to do so, please blog to your heart’s delight on the topic. It’s time for people to know the truth about this path that most have accepted to equate with Satanism. Let’s hear from you! Alia

      • Thank you for your wonderful comment, always lovely to hear from you. I feel the same as you, that ‘pagan’ is synonymous with being One with the earth; nature; seasons. I think more and more people are coming to realise this… I hope so, anyway. I have plenty more subjects I want to write about relating to this, but I have to balance that with crafting to the best of my ability.
        I hope to publish some new writings soon!
        Blessings be to you Alia.

      • Yes, more of us “Old Pagans” have returned to Earth to help set the record straight, I think. 🙂

  4. Wonderful! and you have transmitted it using the wholly insufficient means of language! Bravo! I was born and raised Roman Catholic, so i can relate. My story of Epiphany is somewhat different but yet the same: Choose to be Yourself!
    Thank you!
    with Light and Glory on our Way together ~
    Tomas

    Reply
    • Thank you 🙂
      Indeed – it is a hard path to travel alone and choose what is in our hearts and not peer/family pressure… but the results are well worth it!
      Blessings be to you.

      Reply
  5. Love this so much I have ‘pressed’ it on both my wordpress sites, angiehealer & metaphyzgirl. Well done.

    Reply
  1. The Epiphany | Healing Light Therapies
  2. The Epiphany | Writing for Joy: An Unpublished Showcase | metaphyzgirl ~ Reiki Master & Quantum Holographic Echo Healing ~ Therapist

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