I’m taking you back, way back

I’ve been looking through my old folders of writing and I was surprised when I came across the very first poem that I wrote. I didn’t realise that I still had that one. I had just turned 14. I could rework this one, I could draft it and refine it -but I don’t want to. There’s something special about ‘The First Poem’. It’s not particularly refined, but I love the sentiment: it tells me a lot about my 14 year old self. So, dear bloggers, I share with you – the very first poem I ever wrote.

Civilised – Us or Them?

They call us civilised:
Us with murder and rape,
Abduction and abuse,
Violence and pollution.
They call us civilised,
Us with disappearing animals
Black seas and black skies,
Vanishing forests and vanishing tribes.

We call them unadvanced:
They with peace and unity,
Loyalty and faith,
In touch with nature, themselves.
We call them unadvanced,
They, knowing without speech,
Language without words,
Peace without desperation.

They respect the land, the animals.
We respect an image, money.
Simplicity their communication,
Confusion ours.
So: are we civilised
And They
Unadvanced?

 

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18 Comments

  1. poetjena

     /  December 16, 2012

    Funny – we lose track of our old selves, just like we lose track of friends in our lives.

    So glad ‘you’ and ‘you’ were able to meet up again and that you decided to invite your readers to be a part of that special memory. Thank you!

    Reply
  2. Like πŸ™‚
    Also,this should be treasured,perhaps given to someone years from now.

    Reply
  3. Hi Heidi

    Don’t know what I thought at fourteen
    I’m sure it wasn’t very deep
    Pimples and boys were there someplace
    And about that how I did weep

    I hope I’ve matured a bit with my thoughts
    And something better I did reap
    But with wrinkles galore and one old man
    My thoughts are still in a heap

    Reply
  4. Your first poem…hm…What an intrepid tone…
    You saw without knowing that you saw…

    Reply
  5. Thank you. Money itself isn’t a problem – it’s the perception and value people place on it. ,Its so sad that everything revolves around money – to the extent of destroying our beautiful world and other people just to make more of it. We could learn a lot from ‘the uncivilised world’.

    Reply
  6. I think the poem is just perfect the way it is. To have written this at 14!!! Wow, I love it and the message it brings this world. Sadly, things have changed and we have also been thought to respect the image, money more than ourselvesm

    (:anks for sharing this

    Reply
  7. For a fourteen year old, this is fabulous! It’s full of wisdom and insight. The rhetorical technique is a fine boost to the poem. As for content, it’s a troubled world we are in. Thankfully your poem highlights this. Please keep an original copy of this poem even if you later decide to work on it.

    Reply
  8. That’s quite some write for 14..So glad you found it to share…much enjoyed
    the reading…
    Rachael πŸ™‚

    Reply
  9. I’m sure it makes as much sense now as it did then πŸ™‚

    Reply
    • The arrogance of ‘the civilised world’ is astonishing – and I’m impressed that my 14 year old self felt compelled to write a poem about it. I’d forgotten about that side of my younger self: other memories had taken over. It’s been a good discovery πŸ™‚

      Reply

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