Midnight Walk – Inner Voice

Here’s another piece of ‘free-form’ poetic prose, inspired after a walk through the city at midnight, thinking about the (then) current events in my life.

 

moon over city

moon over city (Photo credit: entheos)

I’ve no need to hurry
I’ve no place to go
Like a ghost wandering the city
The only familiar face I know.

Ok I’ve thought about it and it might be the drink talkin’ but I like feelin’ free I like the independence… I walked the city, feeling cloaked in safety, in the darkness, no stars but the moon hung bright, a quarter face shining down ‘gainst the streetlight… white, aura clear, velvet sky creeping, just a tear of a star that reminds me, could blind me if it wasn’t for my ‘I defy thee’ – not only you but my own mind too, that only provides layer after layer of thought so confused I muse I can’t stop the deluge of voices that rationalise then vocalise and terrorise the stability of my life. Things is changing, too quick too fast my own mind’s to blame and I just can’t last to the final hurdle, it feels like the last entry to my journal I don’t know if I’ll be back off I go…

I’ve no need to hurry
I’ve no place to go
Like a ghost wandering the city
The only familiar face I know.

And it hurts to think I could let you go so easy not like I ever owned you but you know I had you tight locked down in my heart but something came along and ripped it apart and now my heart’s torn and my mind’s a mess I only thank the Goddess that I still feel blessed I don’t know why and I don’t know how ‘cos I always thought you were the only thing in my life worth the count but now I find myself in a space without you, a new future rears up, a future about me not you and I don’t know how what or when but I can only go with the flow go now go next – never back never down I’m here I’m free at last I’m out…

I’ve no need to hurry
I’ve no place to go
Like a ghost wandering the city
The only familiar face I know.

Hello, goodbye, which is the lie? Is there any truth anymore anywhere anyhow I don’t want to fight anymore but I will if it’s what it takes to break the tie break the chain break the deadline that has crept in time. Time ticks tocks never stops but it just has to drop me in space for a minute, infinite to me it’s a blip needed like a valium drip to an addict don’t stop don’t stop don’t stop I don’t want this anymore I can’t live a lie – what’s the lie? Withdraw into my mind forget and deny truth – truth? What’s truth? What’s ruth-lessness? what’s up what’s next? I can’t handle this spaghetti junction in my mind – just let me
Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall.

 

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