KAIROS (A poetic essay of now-thought, inspired by Tom Wolfe’s ‘Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test’)

And t.v’s just flat man just flat just a friggin illusion not real not real to you or me but what the… Suits want – It’s all control man all control – Comfort zone keep them zonked keep them safe keep them in a perception for a quiet life That’s all man that’s it – what you gonna do, watch t.v then die?
You ever had an experience that makes you feel REAL like 3-D, like suddenly every sense turned on and you’re super aware of yourself and everything around you like truly Truly In The Moment and you realise you realise This Is Being This Is The Meaning of life -? On drugs or rising up natural outta nowhere like just all of a sudden – I’ve had both done both and Natural Aliveness is FREAKY man, just freaky, like Blam! Starshine rising through Consciousness from where man from where? It’s gotta be real gotta be the Inner Mind Your Lion rising rebelling against the mulch you keep yourself in when away from rationality on the conscious level something deep hidden damply suppressed has had enough – tired, tired of the Game of Life man of everyone else’s Perception of taking the easy way and your mouth moves and lips shape the same tired forms words you say without thinking without hearing without even knowing man without knowing! When do we wake up to this when do we say Hey I’m doing that crap! I wanna be Alive man I wanna say Truth I wanna jolt these people sharing my life here, right now, in the moment I wanna give ‘em something to spiral from to connect on – to make them Alive too man! And when are we truly alive? When we are truly deep in and of ourselves Being Us Being I not some conditioned Societal Guy. When we’re afeared or – In a situation new to us well and truly outta the comfort zone and you don’t know how to Be so you gotta be you – U, I O, E, A even Y man even Y. Y – why be scared of opening your brain and freeing your mind why not smile and shed the shit that’s been keeping you safe and warm and venture out to the wind and rain and Dark Forest of the Soul and joy at the truth of it, of U the freedom of Truth of Nature of Natural Being Inner not outer but project Project to share to see to let others see and be and see and be from others too a Multi-Being flow Flowing Flowering Flooding the soul Spinning the Spirit Tie a ribbon and constrict it – That old Familiarity of Illusional Perceptional safety zone landing Keep Scaring Scarity still experiencing Be it Keep on Warble High the last note of the Song See man what is that I write Am I high? Drugs circulate and ride – No not at all honest guv straight as a die! All it took all it has taken is the Open Door to Perception just a book man just reading words but words of truth from the great Historic Mr. Tom Wolfe. A journey , The Great Adventure of the Holy Dread – A man named Kesey and his earliest fantasy – LSD. What a song man whatta song To touch the heart and spirit and open – snap – my own inner – Gong! – Like inside my head, like LSD poured from the pages and entered – Feels like I’m on drugs man I feel split wide open Bright home light eyes of perception everything so big – the cushion on my lap the table by me the pen in my hand the words pouring from me like an athlete sprinting pounding the dirt every sense alive truly Alert to the core, the core of my being and all just because of a Truth First Hand reading. Alive man someone else’s journey has freed mind and inspiration comes burning wanting Needing to be told Creativity stifled for aeons Now comes bold unleashed untamed No conscious constipated thinking just free-flowing words as storm entering through brain not even a split second from brain to nerve to hand to written word free flow free fall free mind keep going all All constant this is how it should be should always have been and it has taken – Not t.v Not the words of Safe Suits not even peer groups not one of my generation has the Soul Courage AUDACITY of That Great Tribe from FOUR yes FOUR decades ago!
So all hail Kesey his vision his inner song, his tribe of Merry Pranksters that helped along that Movement man that Tumbling World of New Wave Perception alternative – no not thinking – Alternative Worlds! And all hail Tom Wolfe that great writer who put into Fantastical Triptical words the whole experience man the experience of their Untouchable Undescribable Unwordable Verve.
Ready to blast of to ride the rocket again man the inspiration is surreal like bright Pink Fire I want to keep spewing Mountain Ash rising, higher, suffusing individual flakes form not a blanket to suffocate and turn charcoal, grey, but keeping individual seperality – separate reality – hah! Don Juan, Carlos Castaneda – Have I finally got you? Do I at last understand? – Probably not, likely never! Yet it doesn’t matter ‘cos here, finally, are my words my words of truth billowing and blowing from a mind hurled into its true worth unfettered unchained unbolted unmaimed by conscientiousness tried pretentiousness that sickening of the soul that stifle of the poet that disease of every inner spirit not strong enough to break not knowledgeable enough to unchain and unmake what has been learned taught and what is right but there is no Right and Wrong only Perception of the mind. Evil exists sure there are the morally wrong but that’s a different story to the educated song so long! So long sparrow on the ground Let the great raven bear my stand-ard, stand hard let not thought take over the reality this pen, this mind has so far wrought – ring, ringing the bells of truth from Wanton imagination. I see I feel the air of mountains the breath the feeling the green the greatness yet I have never truly seen not with eyes and body, physically something I long for should do need before I die How can I let death take me before Nature’s Great Truth I spy? Ridiculous to think a mountain view in life never beheld – nor other cultures, journeys Great across the sea – all these Greats I am missing their accessibility shut, limited by practicality – money, preparation fear of unknown, unknown Times – It’s dangerous, fear for your life in countries you don’t know, internal strife – war, kidnap murder and rape frame our Fear our safety net our comfort zone Escape! How long I have longed to fly be free – could I truly unjail truly be me?

Time to stop just to be Later raise again the Mighty, the Great Sword of this eccentricity. LSD thank you, Kesey you the man, Wolfe you genius for unfettering, de-feathering this mind, this hand.

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  1. HelmutWirth

     /  October 27, 2012

    Tom Wolfe you lover of surfboards, of psychedelic stencils on cardoors, covering races on drugs with your attorney present – you knew the acid of Laguna Beach, the surfing on speed talking, “swish rrrooom i am your lover, your mother and your sister i will wash up naught but you kchhh swissh rrooom* it coils and holds you in an earthly embrace made out of water you perceive only the jade tunnel and motion and it breaks it breaks as it never did for Kerouac, for Duluoz drunk as a wreck with the famous four-day binge listed in his account could never even have bodyboarded he was so wasted, but Dean Moriarty would have dug it. Tom i was fourteen and in need of a literary fix and there you were on the bookshelf where i bought Dharma Bums, and The Kandy-Kolored Tangerine-Flake Streamline Baby, i wish i were with you both and with Cassady huge hammers ablaze with petrol swinging from both hands he chants sings laughs and explains the moment the vital moment when we live only he extends it, Neal Cassady juggling flaming hammers while driving a bus and running up and down the aisle explaing things of cosmological import — who could do that today? Only you Heidi

    • 🙂 Thank you for that fabulous reply, and I am honoured and flattered – but never could I judge myself amongst those giants… maybe one day, as I carry on and learn and grow and seed and sow pull my soul to and fro… maybe, ah to dream… One day!
      Blessings be

  2. HelmutWirth

     /  October 27, 2012

    thank you Heidi, thank you Jack Kerouac thank you Duluoz; thank you Ginsberg Bless you sweet Bill Burroughs bless you dear Neal Cassady thank you PK Dick and Aldous Huxley, thank you and bless you Robert Bloch and RA Lafferty X


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